I woke up today feeling really amazing. It's the first Monday ever since the past 10 weeks I don't have to rush for anything. No need to rush to go to other uni by the Thames to do my project there. Nor to wake up at 5 am to take the early morning train at 6 and go up north to the East Midland, doing my work at another host uni. The feeling is just fantastic. And with outside being too damn cold coz the snow just fall (err..actually just sleet, hehe) and cuddling in the duvet is the most amazing feeling ever, my start of the week couldn't be better.
But at the same time, I am confused. Feeling I couldn't be bothered about this blog anymore. Why do I have to update this shit again. What's the point? Do I get paid to do it? No. Do thousands of people read it? No. Coz it's not a bloody electronic newspaper or Google News or BBC Online. Do people really bother what I said in here? Uh uh, don't think so. Do I really have hundreds of followers like some other blogs do? Nope. So what's the point? Why am I wasting my time to write all those shit?
But then again, I thought... Hey, wait a minute. This is MY blog. I can do whatever I want. I can write whenever and whatever comes to my mind. I am my own life here, am I? Just like Diesel ad said"'Are you life?" Of course I am... Why should I care if people read it? Why do I have to care if I had little or no followers at all? Coz those stuff is just numbers that doesn't mean anything. It's better to have quality people, rather than quantity isn't it? Ugghh...why should I have to be worried to all of that? One thing that I should worry is: not writing in here is a major disgrace to my own passion!
Yeah, it's the passion. Passion for fashion and passion to shop. Whatever I find interesting, I'll put in here. Whatever I want, I put in here too. Whatever I'm lusting for something, there I can find it easily in this blog for my own reference. Whatever I've gone through, all the shopping experience I had, whatever stuff that I bought and found interesting in-store or online - my blog is my own personal one-stop site! Easy peasy. Coz I'm a bit of a forgetful person . It's easy if I wanna find something that i need - there're all in my own blog.
If it happens that people read it, hey... enjoy the ride. (I know some people do). It's just like Marmite - you either love it or hate it. But to me, my blog is the first thing I read when I woke up in the morning. It made me happy coz I think it's a small achievement - to see that I am able to write something. Though not really spectacular or stellar or bombastic, but at least it's something. Or to see my own pix which I sometimes went, "oooh damn.. I look so hot" or "eeeww, is that me? I'm so bloody skinny!" (Narcissism, sorry! lol!). So, yeah. I love my own stuff.
So. Update or not, as long as I still have the passion, I'll keep on writing in my OWN Big Fat Blog! Zamri's Big Fat Blog - my beautiful big fat blog. (Zamri means my beauty, in Arabic, as I've been told..ahaks! Vanity flair again...)
Yet, if I ever lose the passion, there's a 'Delete' button which is always become handy. With just one click - all will be gone. Gone, gone and... gone. Isn't that great? Hmmm... I think I should do that on the midnite of the new year. Should I? >:)
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Damn. Why am doing all these blabberings. Is it really got to do with the winter solstice which happen to be today? Or is it because I've been affected by the SADness (seasonal affective disorder) coz there's lack of sunshine out there (and hot, hot, hot weather)? Hmmm...
Btw, I'm gonna be back with some more postings. It's my passion. And this is my blog. So what?
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